Ejecto Seato Cuz !

Posted on by HOCEO
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It’s 9:07 am with a full day ahead and your 14 phone calls in. All of which required the problem solving of fucking Albert Einstein. Oh, the office life … this is year 11 (to set the mood). There is probably a chance, not 30% of all thoughts at this point … are related to the fucking task at hand (yeah fuck the task at hand). Now it’s 3:42 pm you hit the 3:30 pm rooster block 12 minutes prior. Head nods commence … eyes are heavy. Stay the … fuck, get the fuck out ! Eject ! Eject ! Eject !
In recent beginning product innovation cycles and grueling meetings HOC has agreed unanimously that our research and development staff shift all efforts to finding a common solution regarding unrest in cubicle land.

As as a result we are soft launching as of early 2020 a fully functional office chair ejection seat. Yeah you heard that right. The myth, the legend, the office unicorn …. Ejecto (fucking) Seato Cuz 330PM.

EJECTO SEATO CUZ 330PM
This seat will be capable of launching taxed employees 380 feet vertical. Curb weight is a nice 78 lbs with thrust speeds only seen by Space X. The unit is reusable and lands softly. No parachute needed. Cause you know lives matter.

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