{"id":140,"date":"2019-09-04T03:39:03","date_gmt":"2019-09-04T03:39:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/?p=140"},"modified":"2023-12-22T20:34:23","modified_gmt":"2023-12-22T20:34:23","slug":"ejecto-seato-cuz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/04\/ejecto-seato-cuz\/","title":{"rendered":"Ejecto Seato Cuz !"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
It\u2019s 9:07 am with a full day ahead and your 14 phone calls in. All of which required the problem solving of fucking Albert Einstein. Oh, the office life … this is year 11 (to set the mood). There is probably a chance, not 30% of all thoughts at this point … are related to the fucking task at hand (yeah fuck the task at hand). Now it\u2019s 3:42 pm you hit the 3:30 pm rooster block 12 minutes prior. Head nods commence … eyes are heavy. Stay the … fuck, get the fuck out ! Eject ! Eject ! Eject !<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
In recent beginning product innovation cycles and grueling meetings HOC has agreed unanimously that our research and development staff shift all efforts to finding a common solution regarding unrest in cubicle land.

As as a result we are soft launching as of early 2020 a fully functional office chair ejection seat. Yeah you heard that right. The myth, the legend, the office unicorn …. Ejecto (fucking) Seato Cuz 330PM.

EJECTO SEATO CUZ 330PM<\/strong>
This seat will be capable of launching taxed employees 380 feet vertical. Curb weight is a nice 78 lbs with thrust speeds only seen by Space X. The unit is reusable and lands softly. No parachute needed. Cause you know lives matter. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

[thumbs-rating-buttons]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[thumbs-rating-buttons]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[28,26,27,11,4,8,12,29],"class_list":["post-140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-comedy","tag-ejecto-seato-cuz","tag-fast-and-furous","tag-funny-pictures","tag-horizontal-office-chair","tag-meme","tag-memes","tag-satire-post"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t