{"id":140,"date":"2019-09-04T03:39:03","date_gmt":"2019-09-04T03:39:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/?p=140"},"modified":"2023-12-22T20:34:23","modified_gmt":"2023-12-22T20:34:23","slug":"ejecto-seato-cuz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/04\/ejecto-seato-cuz\/","title":{"rendered":"Ejecto Seato Cuz !"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1242\" height=\"935\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7.jpeg?fit=840%2C632\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-142\" srcset=\"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7.jpeg 1242w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7-600x452.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7-300x226.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7-768x578.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7-1024x771.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/89E8523B-F8B2-433A-8343-0111EC1729B7-1200x903.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1242px) 100vw, 1242px\" \/><figcaption>It\u2019s 9:07 am with a full day ahead and your 14 phone calls in. All of which required the problem solving of fucking Albert Einstein. Oh, the office life &#8230; this is year 11 (to set the mood). There is probably a chance, not 30% of all thoughts at this point &#8230; are related to the fucking task at hand (yeah fuck the task at hand).  Now it\u2019s 3:42 pm you hit the 3:30 pm rooster block 12 minutes prior. Head nods commence &#8230; eyes are heavy. Stay the &#8230; fuck, get the fuck out ! Eject ! Eject ! Eject !<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"250\" height=\"412\" src=\"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/020FE437-A960-4051-9BC5-44CBDBA156B0.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-143\" srcset=\"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/020FE437-A960-4051-9BC5-44CBDBA156B0.jpeg 250w, https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/020FE437-A960-4051-9BC5-44CBDBA156B0-182x300.jpeg 182w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" \/><figcaption>In recent beginning product innovation cycles and grueling meetings HOC has agreed unanimously that our research and development staff shift all efforts to finding a common solution regarding unrest in cubicle land. <br><br>As as a result we are soft launching as of early 2020 a fully functional office chair ejection seat. Yeah you heard that right. The myth, the legend, the office unicorn &#8230;. Ejecto (fucking) Seato Cuz 330PM.<br><br><strong>EJECTO SEATO CUZ 330PM<\/strong><br>This seat will be capable of launching taxed employees 380 feet vertical. Curb weight is a nice 78 lbs with thrust speeds only seen by Space X. The unit is reusable and lands softly. No parachute needed. Cause you know lives matter. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>[thumbs-rating-buttons]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[thumbs-rating-buttons]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[28,26,27,11,4,8,12,29],"class_list":["post-140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-comedy","tag-ejecto-seato-cuz","tag-fast-and-furous","tag-funny-pictures","tag-horizontal-office-chair","tag-meme","tag-memes","tag-satire-post"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=140"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":193,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140\/revisions\/193"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horizontalinnovations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}